Speak kindly and learn wisdom
This morning I did an unkind, unloving and ungodly thing. Without thinking I spoke words that hurt the
most important person in my life, my bride.
I want to share what I learned from this.
Matthew 12:36
But I tell you that
every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the
day of judgment.
In 1839 Edward Bulwer-Lytton wrote “The pen is mightier than
the sword” in his play Richelieu. This
has generally been accepted to mean that the power of communicating ideas is
more powerful than using force. I have
learned another meaning for this phrase.
The pen “words” can cut more deeply than any sword.
The words that you speak carry an amazing amount of
force. Words communicate ideas, thoughts
and beliefs. When a kind word is spoken
it has the power to bless, to cheer, to share love. Words can be used to motivate, to build up
and energize. When a coach speaks
positive, affirming words it motivates his team, focuses them on the same
goal. I think of the various sports
movies and the locker room pep talks.
The speeches that neither denigrated the individuals nor the opposing
team, but rather brought the individuals together as a team, emphasizing to
them the common bond they all shared.
These motivational speeches have always roused us to perform our best. Words can show the emotional bond shared
between two people. Think about the day you
said “I do.” The emotions shared between
you and your spouse that day. Love, joy,
happiness, excitement, all of these and more.
Words can also tear down and destroy. The emotional damage caused by a parent
telling their child he is stupid, or a loser, or worthless can forever cripple his
self esteem. As I write that last
sentence, my stomach turns at the idea of a parent speaking that way to their
child. It is like being hit in the stomach
with a baseball bat. Imagine how it
feels to be that child. An unkind word
about a physical trait can create or reinforce a negative opinion that a person
has of himself. If heard enough those
words can cause lifelong emotional and physical problems. Speaking an unkind word at the expense of
someone else can be embarrassing, humiliating or degrading to them.
Speak kindly and with love.
I have been praying for wisdom a great deal lately. Wisdom to lead my family in a Godly
manner. Today as I repented before God
he reminded me that a wise man keeps his mouth shut more often than it is open
and thinks through what he will say prior to opening his mouth.
Proverbs 10:19
When there are many
words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.
Proverbs 17:28
Even a fool, when he keeps
silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.
Think of a person that you truly respect. How does that person speak? Are the words measured? Are they kind? Are they words of thought? Does that person gossip? Speak rude?
Use foul language? We should
model our speech after the people that we respect. I would recommend modeling our speech after
Jesus.
Jesus told the truth, but with love.
He taught his disciples and the people.
He shared the Good News of salvation.
Jesus was not sarcastic or rude.
How do you want your family, friends and peers to think of
you? Are you thought of as wise? Do people seek your council? If not consider why not? Is it because of what you say or how you say
it?
Ask God for wisdom and He will surely give it to you.
James 1:5
But if any of you lacks
wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach,
and it will be given to him.
A wise man learns from another’s mistakes. I pray someone learns from mine. Speak kind and loving, and soon you will be
wise.
I am blessed to be married to a wonderful woman. She is beautiful, kind, thoughtful, caring
and most of all Godly. She forgives my
trespasses and loves me because and in spite of who I am. This is my apology to her.