Amusing things Emily has done or said recently...
Our daughter, Emily, is 3 1/2 and pretty much continuously keeps us laughing. She will say something in dead seriousness that is absolutely hilarious and have no idea. Other times she knows exactly what she is doing and knows it is funny. Here are a few of the things she has given us recently.
She and I were on our way to the gym one day when she, completely serious asks, "Daddy, how did the Dr. get me out of Mommy's tummy? There isn't a hole in her tummy." Wanting to be completely honest with her I told her "God makes special changes to Mommy so that you can come out, but look, there is the gym and we can ask Mommy to explain in more detail later. Will that be ok?"
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The other night I was drying her off after giving her a bath and she looks at me and says, "When I'm a grown-up can I have a patch like Mommy?" (Mommy has a patch for medicine). I said sure. (I didn't want to go into detail with her as to why Mommy has a patch at this time of day.) She then gets this crazy look and says, "I can have a patch and wear make-up and JEEEWELRYYYY?" I know it doesn't read nearly as funny as when she said it, but she got this really odd, crazy voice when she said jewelry.
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Just a few minutes after the the crazy voice above, she was putting on her PJs and was having trouble so started having a meltdown. I got her stopped and was in the process of trying to remind her that when she is having trouble with something she needs to stop, think and then respond to the situation. (Rather than kicking her PJs till she rips a hole in them. 
) As I'm trying to talk to her she just starts bouncing and completely not paying attention to me. Well, I'm sure you can imagine, but this didn't go over too well with me. We went from having a discussion about how to deal with clothing problems to the fact that she needs to show Daddy respect when I am speaking to her. She starts making faces and different gestures, pointing to me and then to the floor in front of her. (As we do sometimes when telling her to come here.) This results in a timeout.
As I'm speaking to her after the timeout she is still making faces (although she is standing still as I have told her to do). I tell her that she needs to stop making faces because that too is disrespectful while I am talking to her. I figure at this point that we have a test of will power here and I prepare for the long-haul. With her making faces I decide that I will try to just sit in front of her and not make eye contact. She proceeds to make ALL KINDS of CRAZY faces and bounce up and down, she gets under my face and pushes on my nose, yells "Wake up Daddy." I looked at her and asked her what she was doing and she replies, "I'm trying to make you smile Daddy." I just about cannot help but laugh, but somehow I kept it inside. To make a looooong story short, after about 3 separate timeouts for disrespect I finally ask her, "Do you do this when Mommy is speaking to you?" and she replies "No". My next question, "So why are you acting this way for Daddy?" and her honest childlike response, "Because your words are funny." ARG!!!! My words are funny?!?!?!?! What do I say to that. In the end I just sent her to bed, cause I realized that in the very beginning I should have understood that she was just exhausted and crazy. I read her a story, gave her kisses, tucked her in and said good night.
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I took E to the mall to play on the playground the other day because it was kinda cold outside. Beside the playground they have a person in an Easter Bunny costume setup for pictures. She walks over near the bunny and slowly looks him over. Then she looks at me and says, "Daddy, there is a person inside the bunny." I told her that yes, it was just a costume and she then wanted to know if the person inside was a boy or a girl. She has this thing right now about needing to know everyone's name and sex. I mean everyone's. At ANY checkout lane, "Mommy, Daddy what is her name? What is her middle name?"
After she played on the playground for a little bit and was done we headed out of the mall, but she said she wasn't ready to leave yet and would like to walk around the mall. Sure why not, nothing else to do right now. As we walked around she saw a game store. We went inside and there were a couple of boys playing checkers with the chess pieces on a waist high table. She wanted to play and waited her turn. She remembered that we have a chess board at home and asked if we could play when we got home. Me, "Sure that sound like fun." Then we left that store and walked around some more. Then the Disney Store, arg!!! Actually wasn't bad, she just wandered around and then went to the back of the store where they have the huge half circle of stuffed characters. She then starts moving animals and dolls around the circle putting any doll that is in the wrong place in its proper place. I swear we were there for 15 minutes while she did that. Everything has a place and must be in its place.
After we got home I broke out the chess set and we started playing. Now her idea of playing is to move all of the pieces anywhere on the board. I let her do that for a while, but then started to tell her the names of the different pieces. She quickly learned them, so I moved on to letting her know that the black pieces could move on the white or black squares and the same with the whites pieces. Then we started working on the initial placement of pieces on the board. She hasn't gotten that part yet, but I'll keep working on it with her.
She is just a blast. I can't imaging my life without her, she makes me laugh and smile every day. I love my little princess so very much.